Do you find yourself worrying about your job because of the economic situation in your country?Are you outraged when you see the corruption in news? Do you worry about possible accidents which can happen to your children you’ve just watched in TV news?
Yes, many bad things happen around us in every minute of our lives.
We live or hear them and they get into our head. Unfortunately, they stay there and can pop up anytime.
Did you find yourself thinking about a thing or situation which happened to you 5 years ago? Out of nothing the action popped up in your mind. And you start to think how you could handle it better. What could be different if you acted the other way?
One evening I was traveling home after the training. As always I had to change buses. I was smoking a cigarette. A young stranger came to me and asked for one. I gave him one cigarette. He thanked me and left. After a minute he came back and asked me for some money. I told him that I don’t have any cash. He said OK. Then turned away like he is leaving. BANG. He punched me in my head and run off. I can remember it like it was today. It was a night before my prom. So I had my prom with a nice colorful eye.
From time to time this bad experience pops up in my head. Especially, when I stand alone on the bus stop at night.
Usually, I think about it quite a while. How and why did it happen? How could I prevent it next time?
But I’ve realized this situation do not deserve my time and attention anymore. It just isn’t the thing I want to think and worry about.
You can see bad things on the TV every day. Anything can happen at any time.
You visit a bank to take some cash from your bank account. Somebody comes in to rob the bank in that moment. Imagine what could happen. In the worst case, you could be death.
Or you finally go to a vacation after the months of hard work. You take a flight and the plane crashes.
But will you worry about it at this moment?
What’s the point worry to visit the bank, to walk through the road, drive a car, or take a flight to the vacation?
Will you spend time thinking about things you cannot control?
Everybody do it from time to time. But it’s something you want to avoid.
Successful people know how to overcome these worries. How to eliminate thoughts about things they cannot control.
They know that every minute is valuable. So they spend time solving their problems and taking massive actions. Actions that drive them toward their goals and dreams.
Focus on things you can control and eliminate things you can’t.
Look at your brain as a finite space. There is everything you’ve ever experienced. All the good things and also the bad ones are there. Some of them pop up more times because of the strong feelings you felt when you’ve experienced them.
Now see these experiences as material things in your house. You have to clean unimportant stuff from time to time to make room for new ones. Christmas cleaning is a good example. You are cleaning your house and choosing what’s old and unimportant to you anymore. You just throw it into a garbage.
You can clear your mind the same way.
Look at what’s happening in your thoughts. Recognize the worries you have right now. Main things which pop up in your head and you have no control over. E.g. your colleague is having a hard time with you because of his own problems at home. Or there is an unstable political situation in the neighbor country.
You have to deal with these worries at the present moment to have your mind free for the important things in your life.
You can put these thoughts into what I call a worry box.
Worry box will contain all these worries so you won’t have to deal with them right now. Maybe you’ll be able to deal with them in the future. Maybe someone else will solve these issues. Or they disappear one day. E.g. new prime minister will heal political situation in the other country.
To put your worries into a worry box follow these simple steps:
- Identify one thing you worry about that you have no control over. Anything that worries you like economics, work, friend, etc. Visualize it and focus on it in your mind.
- See it as one finite object. Give it a size and weight. Try to shrink it as much as possible so it doesn’t take too much space in your head.
- Put this object into a worry box. Take this worry box and leave it alone in one corner of your head. Hide it somewhere too far away from where you don’t see it.
- Repeat the steps above for all your worries you cannot deal with right now.
You can do this immediately when the problem arises or in the bed when you go to sleep. It’ll free your mind so you’ll be able to focus on actual tasks or fall asleep quicker.
This is a simple but working system to overcome most of your worries.
It is helping me to stay focused on things which are important to reach my goals and dreams.